The Official Revamp Post

To my readers,

When I started this blog I had the brilliant idea to inform future au pairs about what to expect and how to become an au pair.  While I continue to think this is a worthwhile idea, I’m refocusing my blog. Of course, if you have questions about au pairing, you can still contact me, but my blog entries will no longer be geared toward au pairs.

There are other resources available for new au pairs. You can always comb the internet with your favorite search engine, but these are my tops picks for resources.

Au Pair Garden is an agency for au pairs and host families. They also have a blog full of useful information for future au pairs.

AYUSA was my agency. For those of you interested in au pairing in Germany, I highly recommend using them.

Au Pairs in Berlin is a facebook group that connects au pairs from all over the world who are working in Berlin. It’s a great way to meet new people. (If you aren’t working in Berlin, I suggest you search facebook for au pair groups for your city. There are plenty.)

There are many more resources out there, but these are my personal recommendations.  Make sure you always double check any information found on websites like these with government regulations for your destination country.

I wish you all the best in your future endeavors whether or not you decide to become an au pair.

As ever,

Cheers and thanks for reading.

Under Construction!

As you might have noticed, I haven't posted for a while. Give me just a little longer, and you'll be in for a surprise!

Tying Up Loose Ends

So you've bagged your hostfam, and you've been waiting and waiting. Now it's time to set off on your grand adventure! I'm excited for you, and I know you're excited for you, but I hope you settled everything before you hopped on that plane.

The "Before-You-Go" Check-List

1. Anyone else out there struggling to pay school loans? Who didn't save up all the money they would need to pay those off while overseas? It will be easier to settle your debts, if you can get money to the institutions breathing down your neck. APs get paid cash and not all that much of it. You can most likely open a bank account in your country of choice. Your hostfam or agent can help you with that. Keep in mind that transfering money internationally may be difficult. Look into how to send money home before you head blindly into trouble.

2. Make sure you have contact information for your hostfam and agent available to you at the time you arrive in your new country of residence. In a worst case scenario, you'll at least be able to let them know that you've been denied access into the country. It is also a good idea to have an embassy or consulate number on hand. Personally, I did not think to have any of this information handy, and, due to a flight cancellation and a four hour wait, I ended up depending on the cosmos and the common sense of my hostmom in order to meet my hostfam at all. It all worked out in the end, but you may not be so lucky. So, you should instead be prepared.

3. Give yourself a safety net. Register with the Department of State as a citizen abroad. They have a program called STEP that can help them help you in an emergency. You should also give someone you know and trust copies of your hostfam's information and the information for your agency. They'll notice far more quickly than the State Department if you go missing. Of course, this is all at your discretion. If you are planning on disappearing, you should skip this step. It makes it difficult to slip off the grid if you're all kinds of registered. 

4. Pack some small gifts for your hostfam. Don't pack anything to spendy or outrageous. Try to pick things special to you and your family or your region. Bring photos of friends and family to show them. If you're crafty, feel free to make them crafty things. The quickest way to win over children is to give them presents, and you're gonna want those kiddoes on your side. Keep the hostparents in mind as well. Make them love you from day one. There's nothing like a little job security!

Once you have these things settled, you can breathe easy. Now is the fun part! Look forward to what awaits you. It will be far different from what you imagine, but, if you stay open-minded and easy-going, it will also be far more magnificent! See you across the pond.

Cheers and thanks for reading.

[Author's Note: So, I definitely didn't get this installment out in a more timely manner. I have no excuse to offer, but I hope you keep reading anyway. Thanks for putting up with the craziness. I'll do better in future-- fingers crossed and thumbs pressed.]

Wooing the Hostfam

During the journey to becoming an au pair, you are in control, but once you become an AP, your success and happiness depend predominantly on your relationship with your host family. You no longer have total control. As in all relationships, you have to make compromises and work together. Here's how to make sure you pick a good hostfam.

Winning Your Hostfam

1. Complete a thorough application. We all hate paperwork, I know, but taking the time to fill out your application completely is well worth it. Elaborate on open-ended questions, and write a personal letter to your potential hostfam. It will do wonders. Keep in mind that hostfams tend to be super busy, so be concise. Keep your letter between three-quarters and a full page. They aren't here to proofread your novel.

2. Get in touch with potential hostfams. Your agent will help you arrange an interview via phone or skype with the family. At bare minimum, you should be able to e-mail your potential family. Do not agree to work for a family with whom you've had zero contact . Remember the windowless-van folk? They're not a chatty bunch, and they'd love to hire you no questions asked. Just remember that.

3. Answer questions a potential hostfam has for you. Be open and honest. If they have specific concerns, be honest with your ability to handle them. If they have a child with special needs, be positive you can handle that before you agree to work for them. If you have no experience with infants, tell them. Now is the time to define what you are capable of and willing to do.

Remember: Show your interest. The more interested you are in a host family, the more interested they'll be in you. They want someone that will be fun and safe for their kids and helpful to them. Most importantly, they want someone who WANTS to be an AP. 

Pickin' and Choosin'

1. Read your hostfams application. It tells you important things like how many kids they have, where they live, what they do, and what they're looking for. You'll be better prepared for the interview, and you'll have a better idea of what you're getting yourself into.

2. Take interviews from all hostfams who are interested in your application. They may be different during a conversation than they are on paper. If this is the case, make note. Try to clear up any discrepancies during your initial interview. Ask questions about the application. Ask about the kids. Ask what this particular family is looking for. Do NOT ask to speak with the former AP or babysitter. 

If you have specific requirements or need special consideration, tell them. Are you vegetarian or religious? Tell them. Do you have experience with infants or hate to vaccuum? Tell them. This isn't a first date. Get everything that might be awkward out of the way. That way you won't get stuck doing something you hate. More importantly, you won't take on something you're incapable of.

3. Take time to consider each family after an initial interview. Think of pros and cons, and compare families. If you're interested, get back in touch with the family. Settle specifics like start and end dates, job requirements, pay, accommodations, or anything else you'd like to have settled before you go. You can do this with as many families as you'd like. Remember, however, that you aren't the only applicant. If you really like a host family, snatch them up.

So now hopefully with all your openness and honesty and fastidiousness and winning charm and wit, you'll have found your perfect host family. You have my blessing. I wish you both all the best. 

Cheers and thanks for reading.

[Author's Note: Sorry about the heinously long wait guys. I was on a trip to Istanbul, Turkey. One of the fabulous perks of being an au pair is the opportunity to travel, and I'm taking full advantage. I'll get the next edition out in a more timely manner. ]

Decision Time

Now that we've weeded out the riff-raff, we can really get started. I was pretty rough in my first couple posts, I know, but some people really shouldn't be au pairs. For those of you who made it through, congratulations!

Before you even get started looking into APing, just go ahead and get your passport in order. Once you've taken care of that, we can really get cracking.

Know Before You Go

1. Decide on a country with an active AP network. If APing is normal you'll have better support, clearer cut rules and regulations, and a more positive experience. Europe (where APing originated), Canada, the USA, and most major cities world wide have solid AP set ups.

2. Make sure you can legally AP in your country of choice. U.S. citizens cannot AP in several countries do to non-reciprocal visa agreements. (Yay shoddy foreign relations!) It would be most inconvenient for both you and your hostfam if you decided on each other before realizing you can't work for them at all. Save yourself time and heartbreak, and check first.

3. Once you've a location (or several) in mind, you can decide on an agency. As I've said, you aren't required to have an agency, but it's really a poor idea to work without one. Check out several before signing with one. There are usual fees involved. They can range from pocket change to paying for your entire trip, so take a good look at the websites. If you can't find direct information, move on. They're probably those shady van people, I told you about.

Once you've settled on an agency, you'll have to fill out an application for the agency and the potential hostfams. This is not a facebook profile, kids. Be honest. Of course, you can present yourself in a good light, but if you lie it will only cause problems.

The Application

1. Be open and honest. On occasion stereotypes can sneak in and confuse potential hostfams, so make sure you clear those up. For me, the first family I talked to had this idea that I was some sort of cowboy because I'm from Texas, and, as we all know, everyone in Texas lives in a desert and is a cowboy. They have two young girls who are very involved in riding, and were excited that I had knowledge of horses and riding. This lasted only up until they talked to me. I'm terrified of horses, ridiculous, I know, but they're large and unpredictable. This threw a huge kink in their plan, and we both had to continue in looking for other options.

2. Be specific. Clearly defines your wants, needs and capabilities. You're a product, so no false advertising. If you could never, ever live within a single father household, write that down.  If you would love a family who travels often, write that down. If you are incapable of driving a manual motor vehicle, write that down. Don't be afraid to be honest. Otherwise you could end up with a single father family, never going anywhere, and driving a stick shift. This is bad for you, your hostfam, and the transmission. 

3. Be careful. It's all good and well for honesty and specificity, but if you take the above advice too much to heart, you could end up with no hostfam options. They don't need your whole life story. Answer all questions in full, but only answer the question they ask. If you have to give a less than wonderful answer, it would be good to explain, but you don't have to share the entire nitty gritty of your life. Think of it as a first date. You have to save something to share on consecutive dates, or they'll be bored. On the specifics end, only go with the super important things. If you're too picky, you'll rule out most of your options. Remember, you have to be flexible.

Once you're through this part of the ordeal, it's fairly easy going. Unless you're impatient that is because you've now entered the waiting game part of the process.

We'll get to that next time.

Cheers and thanks for reading.

Think About It

Now that you know what an AP is, you think it's a good idea. You think you're ready, and you'd like to give it a shot. Well, you aren't. Not to crush all your hopes and dreams, but any sort of life altering decision requires consideration. This is especially true when you affect other's lives.

Things to Consider:

1.You will be working with children. This seems pretty straight forward only because it is. However, one of the biggest reasons APs give up and go home is they try to ignore the fact that they don't like/aren't good with/don't want to work with children. It's not fair to the children, the hostfam, or you to try and force yourself into something that will make you miserable and resentful. Don't make stupid choices.

2. You will be living with a family. I don't know whether to talk this one up or down. If you're incredibly independent and have lived on your own for a while, the change of pace required of you may be too much. You go from doing whatever you want and playing by your own rules to compromising and considering the wants and regulations of other people. For the first three months, it won't seem hard, but once you've adjusted it can be stifling.

It is a big help for those of you who will be venturing out for the first time. Living in a home with people gives a sense of security. It also presents opportunities for the cultural exchange we've talked about. Getting to know your hostfam and adapting to being part of the family also gives a good network of people who can help you if you need it. My hostfam is awesome. They're supportive and helpful of both my get-healthy plan and my learn German plan. Take advantage of what your hostfam offers.

3. You're moving to a foreign country. If you don't want to learn a new language and new culture, don't be an AP. First of all, it's rude to move somewhere and refuse to learn the language. Don't be the awful tourist for the whole year you're here. Attempting to speak the language always gives you a leg up with the locals. Secondly, learn something about where you're moving before you come. You don't have to be an expert, but you should learn enough to not completely embarrass yourself. Take some interest in what you're doing. No one is forcing you.

4. Au pairing is a job. You'll be working. If you aren't prepared to work, APing is not for you. Working with children is a challenging job. If you don't believe me, you need to not attempt it. Bring your best work ethic. You'll be living with your boss. If you aren't prepared to give 100 percent everyday, find something else.

5. You must be adaptable. You have to be able to deal with sick kids and plans changing and busy parents and unexpected visitors. You're moving to a totally different country. A positive attitude and a flexible character well get your through the rough patches smoothly.


I try not to sound too negative in the beginning, but in all honestly, it's better for you to know now whether APing is right for you. It will save you time, money, and heartache. If you're only interested in the travel aspect, shoot me a message, we'll find another option for you. For those of you still interested in APing, stick around. There's more to come.

Cheers and Thanks for Reading.

Au Pairing is Like a Mullet

Yes, it's true. The business-in-the-front, party-in-the-back hairstyle we all know and love, really is a good metaphor for the AP way of life. It's important to understand that you are living and working in the same place. On the clock, you have to be professional, but off the clock, if you swing it right, you're family.

Lucky for you, I'm a clever girl, and I've come up with a way to represent this in my blog. I'm going to attempt write two blogs a week. One will be what I've done that week, and one will cover the business end of things. For all you nosy-Nancys out there, here is a little insight to my life. 

This weekend was my free weekend. I get one free weekend every month, and Hostmom generously allows me to have Friday through Sunday all to myself. You should know that being exhausted is my favorite, so I try and pack as many activities as possible into my free weekend.

Friday, started off with a bitter sweet note. A friend had her going away party that night. It's always tough to see folks go. We had a great time sending her off though. We ate at a nice little Italian restaurant called Istoria's. The food is delicious. The prices are reasonable. And the wait-staff is hilarious.

I've been there before a couple of times, but this night the staff were particularly hilarious. Our waiter actually got drunk during the course of our dinner, and his antics became more and more ridiculous as the night wore on. He was a pretty good waiter to begin with, but there was some confusion because we had a large group that didn't all arrive at the same time.

Finally, we got all our food and drinks, and we were just hanging out and chatting, like you do. It was around this time that our waiter started getting noticeably inebriated. First clue, he ran off on a small child from our neighboring tables scooter. More than once, he did this. He also serenaded our friend. He had to have said her name 1000 times during the course of dinner.

The other waiter there came over and struck up a conversation with me by asking where I'm from. I told him the U.S., and he nearly lost his mind. Apparently, he had a girlfriend who lived in Miami whom he'd visited there, and he was so excited to tell me all about the U.S. This is what you get for having an approachable face and sitting at the end of a table. I'm glad I made friends with him though. He came in handy later when our waiter couldn't ring up our bill properly because he was smashed. Miami man helped us out, and we got it all taken care of.

After Istoria, Sierra and I went to Soda which is generally a happening dance club. Friday night is ladies night, so they offer free entry and 7,50 in free drinks to women. It's the place to be for us poor au pairs. We tried to get more people to go with us, but they all had better and more thrilling things to do. Like sleep.

Well, they were right. When we got into soda, there were approximately 7 people there. We waited around for it to pick up, but no such luck. The most entertaining part of the evening was when this couple came in. The fella was a really good dancer (an anomaly among German men), and he was definitely flaunting his skills. Unfortunately his hipster girl wouldn't let him dance. We got bored and went home shortly thereafter.

Heading home early was a good idea. We were headed to a brunch for our Au Pair agency the next day anyway. These little get together are always pleasant, and we got to welcome in a new au pair. He seems like a fairly cool character, and the atmosphere of the cafe was really nice. Sierra had to work, so we headed back to her place after brunch. We parted ways when I went and reveled in the sunshine with an awesome group of folks.

We had a get together in one of the parks, and it was good time. It's so nice to finally be able to spend all day outside. We had some barbecue and live music and people watching. Now, I call that a good time.

After the park, I headed to friend's apartment. They were having a party, but they came to the park as well, so we traveled together. The party was a lot of fun, as always. I met some Slovenians, and spoke a good bit of German.

Sunday, was a success. Part of what I'm doing abroad is a personal journey to reach my full potential. A big part of that is reach peak physical condition. Now, that's a long way off, but we did make a breakthrough on Sunday. We started a Couch Potato to 5k plan. It's an awesome thing, and I did far better than I expected. It was time for me to level-up again on this journey, and I did that successfully after a full weekend. It's because we're champs. No big deal.

All in all, it was a happening weekend. I'd like to leave you with a song today. It was stuck in my head all weekend because it suited how I felt so perfectly. Enjoy.

Cheers and thanks for reading.

[Author's Note: This was the most difficult entry I've had to write so far. It just didn't flow like the other entries. We'll see how long this personal side lasts.]