The Basics

I know, I know. You’re all clamoring to know what an au pair actually is. I wrote the word a billion times in my intro post, rough estimate, but you still aren’t really sure what the title au pair actually denotes. Well, I’m so glad you asked!

What is an au pair? 

Basically, the most compatible definition of "au pair" to American English I've found is "on par." The general understanding being that, stereo-typically, a young woman between ages 18 and 25 lives-in with a host family in a different country than stated on her passport and takes care of the children along with some light house-cleaning. As a result, both the host family and the au pair benefit from the arrangement.

What is an au pair not?

An au pair is not a child or a slave. This means as an au pair you are there to help out. Do not expect your host family to take care of you. If that's what you want, stay home with mommy and daddy. It's better for everyone involved. This also means you're not to allow yourself to be taken advantage of. By the way, being asked to clean your own space, does not qualify as being taken advantage. If, however, you do find yourself in serious trouble, get help.

[Author’s Note:] Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, we’re gonna go ahead and shorten au pair to AP for future reference.

How to avoid worst case scenarios:

These uncomplicated actions can prevent any number of less than pleasant situations from occurring.

1. Have a Contract

You should definitely have a contract with your host family signed by both parties prior to your arrival in their home. Make sure you read your contract thoroughly, and, yes, I do mean EVERY word. You should read everything you sign, anyway, but this is anywhere from 6 months to 1 year of your life you're signing away. 

Your contract needs to be in accordance with the laws and guidelines for APing in your destination country. If it's not, you can get deported, and if you can avoid it, why wouldn't you? Mostly, having a contract is just added security, and it helps both you and your future hostfam to know what to expect. If your host family doesn't want to have a contract, you probably don't really want to work for them anyway.

2. Agencies are Your Friend

There a hoards of AP agencies out there. Just ask your favorite search engine. Agencies are worth the money. If you don't want to spend the money, find a cheap agency. That's what I did, and they're awesome. My rep came and saw me in person within two weeks of being here to make sure I was alive, which I was, and well, which I was not. A word to the wise, most APs come down with a basic travel bug within the first two weeks. It's less than ideal, but it will pass. My agency also arranges get-togethers to help new arrivals meet friendly folks. Of course, there is also the added benefit of security, and they can help if there's a breach of contract.

If you think you know better than I do, and you don't want an agent, make sure someone you trust has pertinent contact information for your future host family. This means names, address, phone numbers, and photographs. It would be a good idea to double check this information ahead of time. That way you don't show up and realize your "host mom" is the creep throwing you into the windowless van. 

You should also register with the government as a "citizen abroad." Think of it like you're flying half way around the world to stay with total strangers because that's pretty much what you're doing. Most likely you'll have met these people via internet. Remember those awesome high school seminars about Myspace creepers? I know I do. You might think I am exaggerating, but bad things can happen. Let's try not to get serial-killed or worse, shall we?

3. Remember to Pack Your Manners

I cannot express enough how important this is. Try and remember that your host family is trustingly inviting you not only into their home, but also to work with their children. They don't know you from a serial killer either, and they would prefer not to find you snorting coke with the baby or inviting hoodlums into their house without their knowledge. They would probably prefer you don't invite hoodlums into their home even with their knowledge, and I call that fair.

Dispelling Stereotypes and Quelling Fears

APs come from all walks of life for innumerable reasons. We aren't all wealthy gap-years looking to party. We aren't all searching for foreign husbands. We aren't all just stepping out of our parent's house for the first time, and we also aren't all girls. Shocker, I know, but, yes, boys can be APs too.

I know this post is a little caution heavy, but as long as you are informed and prepared, APing is a fun, safe, and rewarding experience. I've not met one kidnapping victim yet! 

Keep your wits about you and have some common sense, and you'll be just fine. 

Cheers and Thanks for Reading.